Robbie Williams Eats Domestic Pets Shocker

Robbie Williams. Renowned for his wide-eyed performances, his love of all things extra-terrestrial, and his relationship with Ayda Field. Ayda field once, sold it to a farmer. One thing Robbie is apparently NOT renowned for is his public devouring of domestic animals, in pubs of course. Which is a shame. It is, in fact, one of the thousands of mis-truths that has emerged by the ultimate public-updated information website...

WIKIPEDIA.

I ruddy LOVE Wikipedia, I honestly don't know how I would cope without it. Ever since Fresher's week at Sussex University, when every tutor urged pupil's to not use Wikipedia under any circumstances, I did exactly that, and many an essay was wholeheartedly plagiarised from the website. By plagiarised, I mean "researched extensively" of course. Apparently, at any one point over 100,000 articles on the website contain false information, which means a 1 in 70 chance of you coming across one. Good odds in my book.

Some of the best include Margaret Thatcher being listed as a fictional character for 6 weeks (unfortunately not), Timmy Mallet as a former jet ski champion, and Alan Titchmarsh receiving the "Bad Sex Award". If he didn't win it he deserves it, what a waste of make-up that night was...

It was a combination of his bored expression and the authentic Rolex that first drew my eye to Alan...

Also today, we caught up with Paul Diello, after two staff members at Juice were invited to his 30th Birthday Party with a WEDDING theme. I asked Paul, quite simply, WHY?! Turns out Paul is already married after an intimate ceremony in New York, and now he just wants the big party to go with it. Naturally, there will be a buffet (a meaty one hopefully), frocks galore and a wedding photographer. I did probe Paul (not like that) about what his outfit would be, and he teased us with mysterious clues that it was being imported from Shanghai and is silver. We've scoured the Shanghai websites of note, and have narrowed it down to this one...

"It's ALL about the confidence"

I'm off to Londonium now for some important and exciting Shakedown Festival meetings. Determined to formally confirm Chaz & Dave..
 
Jonesy x

Oh and producer Jonno has just reminded me why celebs shouldn't play with hamsters live on TV. You might come up trumps when landscaping a tonne of shingle Titchmarsh, but multitasking a chat show and playing with cheap novelty toys just isn't your forte!